why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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