Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
it was like eating out sand paper
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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