Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish you could order shots online.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have tasted many bathrooms
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
