i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This house was built for laser tag.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
