i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
