I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
