shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Boobs speak an international language.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
