Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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