Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I just put wine in my tea
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
