Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
