She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I deserve this hangover.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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