My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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