hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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