You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
