I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
