I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
