i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
