There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
