I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
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