My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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