Pappa wants mamma naked
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
