Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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