I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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