Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
