Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
