After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize