the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
