Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I want to stick my p in your. b.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
