I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
