doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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