Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
