Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
