Yo dont text me then not text me
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
