Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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