Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
