Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
