too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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