we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
