the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
