I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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