If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Come on in and take your pants off
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