he looks like a really good dad on facebook
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
