'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Is it because I queefed?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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