so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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