We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
