Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
