it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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