new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
