weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
