I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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