she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
