Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
