I want to have your abortion
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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