ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
