Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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