So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
