Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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